To the simple things in life

 I see the  lifeless you, the empty,the hollow you. You remind me of a withering flower,  that has lost its vigor and bloom. Your eyes speak your heart, and trust me my friend, it's all anguish and remorse, fear and distress. What is it that you are failing to hide? What is it that's so deep to approach? You are not what you say. Your mind has abandoned your tongue. And now you think i am fool enough to be trapped by your false facade. I wish one day you drop the veil. I wish one day you decide to speak. I wish you follow the light for once that will take you on better roads.                                                   

Boundless, infinite and vast Love needs no boundaries, nor it ever halts It's like the  river,the one Coelho talks about  with no explanation of why it flows on a certain path. Love thrives in the universe our eyes behold. I have felt the love in the rain that transcends, sensed it in the flowers that gloom. Love took me to see the shining stars, and then it surfaced with the rising sun. It grows with me, it grows within you. I love your heart, i love your soul. I love how you speak so elegantly pure. I love your strength and i love how you fight. I love you for everything that makes you,   so angelic and lovable. So true.

I,the hope. You.the despair I,the faith.You,the fear I.the gratitude. You.the thankless. I,your positive.You.my negative. Unintentionally and uncontrollably, i am falling prey to you. I thought i had command over myself, but your energy is tearing the strength away. I believed i was unbreakable but you are testing  me beyond i can sustain. You,anxiety  follow me no more,  my mind looses every time more than before. Every minute that the clock ticks,i fall prey to you. They judge,you merry They lie.you acknowledge Because every time it happens, i cry a little I,the failure.You,the winner The more it happens,the more you grow on me I don't want to ,but i am falling prey to you.    

                                              Why are you so enchanted by this world                                                        when a mine of gold lies within you? Have you ever thought about this claustrophobic feeling you get when being detained in a prison of your own worldly desires that seem so distant and the energy you have wasted in trying to reach out to them, is it all worth it? Ever thought?  With the immature and faulty  minds that we have grown up, we often ask ourselves,what will happen if we are left behind? How important it is to have what the others have? Isn't everything about the money? The richer you are, the better good looking? Why not show off a bit? Sadly our crave to be noticed always wins over the purpose of life. Let's agree. This world is enchanting. The charm increases by the day. The ever changing fashion, the new technologies, the money, the expensive adventures and a rich company. So luring. All in the surroundings. I know i

We see with the eyes but we see with the brain as well.Seeing with the brain is called imagination. We are familiar with the inscapes of our imagination because we have lived with them all our lives. Then, there are hallucinations. They are not part of our creation. They are not under our control. They seem to come from outside and mimic perception. It was summers of 2012. I was spending  vacations with my aunt in Portsmouth. One fine day my aunt received a call from a friend that she was attending a conference nearby so wanted to visit. My aunt welcomed her and informed us that a visitor is coming over and then she said and i quote,"You might find her a little different but don't worry". Aasia was in her early 40s. She was tall,grey haired and very simply dressed. A doctor by profession, never married. We started talking. Discussed anything and everything. She was intelligent. Owned a house in Glasgow. Loved her job. Not for a single minute did it occur to me that th

My mother was right for once. Alya did come back with her husband, Arham. They registered in UK as husband and wife and rented a house a few streets away from ours. Arham was 15 years older than Ayla, as i had expected. He was the dominant one in their relationship. But then most men are. Ayla did join school. However, she had changed so much. She hardly talked. Hardly laughed. Liked being isolated. Nothing broke my heart so much than to see her like that. Above everything, she had started to maintain distance from me too, which killed me inside. My only sister was a stranger to me now. It angered and frightened me at the same time. I was angry with the way she was treating me. I was angry with the way she was treating herself. I was angry that she was keeping it quite. I was angry as to why it all happened to her. And then i was frightened. There was a lot she was keeping inside, hiding away. I feared her life.  "Ayla, how have you been? Don't you think we should talk. I

One fine morning,we both were escorted downstairs where a bunch of familiar faces awaited us. At the corner of the room, i saw three to four luggage bags. The three of them were already packed whereas the one empty was put in front of Ayla by my mother. "We are leaving for Pakistan tonight, better pack your bag". Pakistan has never dreaded me. We have been to Pakistan earlier on family marriages and other vacations. However it's been a while that we last visited as a family. The timing bothered me. The school was about to start in two weeks time and above all i was told i will be staying back. Ayla and i hadn't been separated like that before. Nothing was normal about that situation. Ayla ran back to her room, crying. Ayla, always the clever one. She knows, i thought to myself. I followed her. "What do you think is happening?", i asked. By the time, her sobs had changed into proper cries. "Don't you get it. Don't you remember when Fatima's

Until Ayla turned 15, life was good. Despite my dad's lack of interest in us and my mom's constant reminders that a woman's place is only in the kitchen and her subjective notions that a girl's duty is only to look after her family, we both were doing good. There was a lot happening in life to distract us from the reality. I was into making friends, recently enrolled myself in a language class and was doing well in sports. Whereas Ayla had her GCSE's on the way so she was more concerned with her grades than anything else. During the winter vacations, we had a visitor from Pakistan,my dadi. I had always found it hard to be comfortable in her presence. Whether it was due to her constant complaining of how careless we girls were or her being very judgmental of our every move, not sure. But she was anything but lovable. Dadi stayed for the next six months until Ayla's exams which was convincingly very fishy but as a 11 years old, i believed i was thinking too much

Inspired by the actual events, this post will revolve around the concept of forced marriages, an act still being performed by families living abroad. The story is a journey of the victim's sister after the victim is flown to  Pakistan to marry  a family friend. Here's the first part. Ayla and i were inseparable from the day i opened my eyes in this world to the day she left us to begin an arduous and mentally painful life journey. Despite the 5 years age difference, our relationship was beyond what was expected of us. We fought over clothes, scuffled over television remote and quarreled endlessly over  petty issues. However, the contrary is true too. My  bedtime was incomplete without Ayla reading out a tale to me. Her mornings involved everything from waking me up, helping me get ready to accompanying me to school. Not to forget our lunch break catch-ups. It was as if i never needed a friend. I had her and she was enough.  I lived in a very humble household of four in S

I am a believer of  the rainbow after rain I am a believer of the malwa flowers that bloom on the floor of the driest place on Earth. I am a believer of the sky reaching mountains and Congo river that is the deepest of all. This earth and the other galaxies that exist in the universe so vast. I am a believer of this all. I am a believer of peace unlike war. Tranquility over agitation. Harmony, not chaos. The content  humans rather than the hungry souls I am a believer of love before hate, destiny and fate. I am a believer of the paradise and the hell that exists. The home of the good and the bad. I am a believer of the life that awaits, beyond the limits my eyes and mind can reach. The words of God and the lessons His messengers preach I am a believer of  the Truth in that.

I believe in soulmates. I do. I know there is this one  human being looking out of his window,eyes fixed on the gate, wondering when will the day arrive that i enter through. A guy looking around on the street for a familiar face.A guy who wakes up to my thoughts. A guy who talks to his friends about me and smiles in sleep  dreaming about me.  However, i also know that movies are based on fake and fictitious ideas. And all the above is basically a lunatic and romantic based movie scenario(in case you haven't guessed it already). No one has the time bro! No, i am not against marriage or love. Not at all. In fact i wait for the day when i meet my soulmate wherever he may be. But i don't look out for him. I believe universe has this mysterious way of  bringing two beings from totally different walks of life together, whenever the right time arrives. I believe that if your previous relationships haven't worked, they were not meant to. There is a thing called destiny, peeps.

The war between the two neighbors has always been the highlight of living in the subcontinent ( as  formerly known). Be it with the ammunition or the words. The flying pigeon with a "fuck off India" tattooed on it or an attempt to ward off Pakistani actors from India. Not to forget the incredible memes circulating in the social media. How do they even think of these? I quietly wonder. I also wonder if things will get any better anytime soon or the hostility is never ending. In the midst of this anarchy, i have a story to tell. A story that will redefine this rivalry and may just make you think that things aren't too bad after all. My father received a letter recently from one of his acquaintances. The letter was from India. It was from a guy named Harinder who was in the quest of finding his 90 year old father's family friends who got separated at the time of independence. Fortunately, the letter reached the right place. It was my family they were looking for. Unc

My unfathomable fight to begin a day. The incalculable desire to just shut away, from the world and its beings. I fight a war within. Every day, it seems. Puts on a pretentious smile daily. Laughs away the deep rooted sadness miserably. Keeping up with the hustle that surrounds me. I fight a war within. The hardest there has ever been. Fighting away the emptiness. Fighting away the loneliness. The bleakness, the gloominess. There is a war within, i fight from my own being.

Weddings in a country like Pakistan have become such a top notch affair. If you are a photographer, an event manager, a designer, a caterer or even a company who excels in providing a good music band, this is the right time to flourish. Trust me at this point of time, yours is the best profession one can ask for. The wedding affair by all means have become a collaboration of "it's a family thing" and "let's show the world how we do it" . I personally believe if you have the money and desire, you can always look out for the fairy tale wedding and if you don't, avoid making hate comments on the photographers' official pages. You know who you are! I have a wedding coming in my own household next year. So, as the tradition goes the plannings began long  time ago. Since there is a list of events accompanying the most important nikkah, the plannings are pretty much very meticulous. Pretty detailed. Pretty lengthy. Ah! The patience. A friend of mine i

I fear the fear. The fear of the starless night. The fear of the dark that transcends  as the clocks tick away. The fear of the moon that gazes back at me. Its silence and its mysterious vibe, so strong, so feisty.  I fear the fear.  The fear of the howling street dog. The fear of the staring owl. The fear of creepy crawlies whose noise won't let the sleep embrace, my mind and my soul. I fear the fear. I fear the nightmares that follow. Triggering the fear of falling into an  abyss so hollow. Struggling to escape,breathing so shallow. I fear the fear. I await the sun to rise. And take me away from the deep down sadness that resides. To a sunnier day, to a brighter life, away from the fears I fear.

My head is churning, my stomach is growling. Not because of the heavy jewelry on the head or an empty stomach since afternoon. The situation is far more weirder, far more scarier. There are uncountable familiar faces in the room,looking at me as if i am one of Picasso's painted piece. The awe on their faces and their complimentary gestures have failed so far to make me any less curious. Curious about the next minutes. Curious about the life ahead. I am the bride and i will be  marrying a complete stranger in the next few hours.Yes, its a total arranged affair which mostly is a case in a Pakistani household. Not that i never met the guy. Well i did.He got the looks, he speaks well and loves biryani very much. (I know the biryani part because he has asked me to learn to cook a good biryani for him.) That's about it. Basically.  I went with my parents' instincts majorly because i trust their choice with all my zeal and zest. Atleast, my family believes so. They approve

I have once walked on the grass so green, in the meadows so beautiful, the terrains so smooth. I have once chased the birds so bright, seen the sky so clear, swam in the river water so blue. I know  how bright a child's eyes get when they laugh. I have felt a mother's love and witnessed a father's pride. But haven't they? Because now i have seen that all vanish. Vanished into the smoke their bombs created. Blown into dust, into tiniest of particles. into making me believe they never actually existed. I step into the dusty  roads  surrounded by the debris of buildings that once stood so tall. Their mammoth structures once awed me. Now they are only a symbol of despair and destruction. The bloodied pathways, the unrecognizable human bodies, the chaos, the anxiety and  the horrifying silence. Don't they see that? Don't they feel that? They don't murder a mere human.. They kill a family. They kill their any chance to survive. They kill them while they are

  What if i tell you it's all a dream?    Your life,my life,    Are nothing,but a mental picture,    Whose existence is anything but concrete,    What if i tell you it's all a dream?        The mountains that rise so high,    The seas that run so deep,    Are merely there to distract you from  what lies beyond,    Beyond the sky you see and beyond the earth your feet feel,    Listen! It is nothing but a dream.    The war they fight, the money they chase,    Will only satisfy their temporary haste,    There is a reality above all this evil,    A world so beautiful and surreal,    Where all the nightmares come to end,    Where all that was once a fantasy becomes a fact,    Believe! Your life is a dream.                                           What if i tell you, you will rise one day from this delusion?    To a truth serene than any of your imagination,    A place with no hate or greed, but lo

  Twenty-five . A very complex age. A point in time where you leave behind your casual,happy go lucky self to pursue a responsible and humble you.Somehow the dignity buried deep inside emerges and there you are holding it tight,not letting it go now. You think you are smarter. More courageous to face the world but, are you?! You think or in some instances, you know that you have experienced a lot. You can judge people by looking at their faces. It has to be true since twenty five is a lot of time. But,hey! Stop! You forget all this time it was you who was being judged. You were being judged by your friends since they were still indecisive of whether you are a worthy friend at all. You were being judged by your parents since the last few  years of you home-away had already made them inquisitive of you naturally (sorry, that hurts). And now you are being judged by the society over your achievements in life so far.They will judge and let you know if you have or have not made anything

When the brain cells fail to contemplate the situation that has surfaced, when the deep limbic system malfunctions and  all the negative emotions suddenly erupt like a volcano, an uncontrollable, unstoppable volcano, there my friend, your brain's a mess. Irrespective of how unnatural the emotions may feel to you, they can't get more natural in the real sense of the word. You may find yourself a loner, an alien whose thought-process is completely disintegrated with everyone's around but alas, its as temporary as life itself. The situation however has not dawned upon yourself only. It has on me and it has on several people around us. So stop presuming you are special. In fact, we all are in the eyes of Al-Mighty.  We all face our share of bad days, the way we deal with them shows the strength we are made of. Never turn away from a situation, and i repeat, Never because the situation or a problem never really leaves you. It will come in another form on another sunny day